63 lines
No EOL
3.5 KiB
TeX
63 lines
No EOL
3.5 KiB
TeX
\documentclass[12pt]{scrartcl}
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\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
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\usepackage{tgpagella}
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\usepackage{xcolor}
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\usepackage{ulem}
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\usepackage{geometry}
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\usepackage{scrlayer-scrpage}
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\definecolor{isaac-red}{HTML}{C52947}
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\definecolor{isaac-blue}{HTML}{0E4385}
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\newcommand\sectionuline{%
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\bgroup\markoverwith{\textcolor{isaac-blue}{\rule[-0.5ex]{2pt}{1.7pt}}}%
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\ULon%
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}
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\newcommand\subsectionuline{%
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\bgroup\markoverwith{\textcolor{isaac-red}{\rule[-0.5ex]{2pt}{1.7pt}}}%
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\ULon%
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}
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\clearpairofpagestyles
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\setkomafont{subsubsection}{\usefont{T1}{qpl}{b}{n}}
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\setkomafont{subsection}{\usefont{T1}{qpl}{r}{n}\Large}
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\setkomafont{section}{\usefont{T1}{qpl}{b}{n}\LARGE}
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\setkomafont{part}{\usefont{T1}{qpl}{b}{n}\Huge}
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\addtokomafont{part}{\sectionuline}
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\addtokomafont{section}{\subsectionuline}
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\addtokomafont{subsection}{\sectionuline}
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\addtokomafont{subsubsection}{\sectionuline}
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\setlength{\parindent}{0pt}
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\setlength{\parskip}{12pt}
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\title{Business Message AB Peer Review}
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\author{Isaac Greene}
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\lohead{Business Message AB Peer Review}
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\lofoot{For Seth Wolthuis\\By Isaac Greene}
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\rofoot{2025-10-20}
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\begin{document}
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\part*{Business message peer review for Seth}
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\section*{Positive message}
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You did a great job with the positive message. You were very clear in quickly establishing the subject and even if they read nothing beyond the first paragraph, the recipient still knew when they could expect to use the fitness center. The entire message was very positive without being overly so. It matched the energy of a fun, new initiative.
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The flow felt very natural, easily going from intro to what to why. You were specific, especially with what was going to be offered, with the variety of options available, and why an employee might want to use it. You emphasized the long hours of the new center, variety in equipment, and ease of access, like during lunch hours.
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Because of the quality of your message, there were only a few minor changes I would make. In the second paragraph, I would change "employees" to "you" and reword "spouses, children ... fitness center." to "your immediate family." Similarly, in paragraph four, I would change "things" to "initiatives" which I feel emphasizes the company reasoning.
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Overall, you did a really good job crafting an effective positive business message. There was strong you-attitude, an appropriate tone and formality level, and it builds goodwill in the ending.
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\newpage
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\section*{Negative message}
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As stated above, I think you are a very natural and talented writer. It is again immediately clear what is changing and what will happen as a result. Given the severity, the potential misused company resources, the tone matches the subject matter well. It is respectful and serious without being rude or placing blame on anyone.
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Each paragraph led nicely to the next one. You made it clear that the business wants to maintain a professional image, what actions brought about the email, what actions the business is going to take to preserve their image, and that company still supports creativity from its employees.
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One area I felt was a little lacking was the information about what alternatives are available. An exhaustive list is certainly not needed, but something more specific than "[t]here are plenty of options". Perhaps mention specific platforms that do this, like Facebook, Blogger, or even Tumblr.
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You did an excellent job making it clear what was happening, that there wasn't really anything wrong, just changing. You were friendly and detailed without being overwhelming or accusatory. Great quality.
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\end{document} |