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Isaac Greene 2025-11-14 23:10:36 -05:00
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WRT350/BusinessC_peer_review.tex Normal file
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\documentclass[12pt]{scrartcl}
\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
\usepackage{tgpagella}
\usepackage[letterpaper]{geometry}
\usepackage{scrlayer-scrpage}
\clearpairofpagestyles
\setlength{\parindent}{0pt}
\setlength{\parskip}{12pt}
\lohead{Ashton Business Message C}
\lofoot{No AI used. <ig7.us/ai>\\Work available under the Esoteric Common License. <ig7.us/license>}
\ohead*{\pagemark}
\begin{document}
\begin{list}{-}{}
\item \textbf{To what extent does the document adhere to proper business message format?}\\
Simple, concise, and formally presented. Could use a little more you-attitude, especially in the last paragraph.
\item \textbf{To what extent does the subject line avoid making the request?}\\
No subject line, consider adding the recipient, sender, and date as well (like:\\
Subject: New file network usage policy\\
From: Ashton Hendges <email.com>\\
To: All staff <all.com>\\
Date: October 24, 2025)
\item \textbf{To what extent does the first sentence interest the audience?}\\
Personally, I feel that starting with "I hope you're doing well" isn't the best way to go. Especially from an executive, I would prefer that they just get straight to the point.
\item \textbf{How well is the problem presented as a joint problem both communicator and the audience
have an interest in solving, rather than as something the audience is being asked to do for
the communicator?}\\
Presents the problem as something that can cause legal trouble for the company, and personal inconvenience for the employee. Doesn't blame the employee for the actions.
\item \textbf{To what extent is all the necessary information presented? Is there enough detail?}\\
Tells the employee what will happen, what they should do to keep things running smoothly, and why the company has an interest in enacting this policy. Nothing extra needed here.
\item \textbf{To what extent does the message overcome objections the audience may have?}\\
The employee may object to the scanning and removal, but letting files remain on the server may introduce inconvenience. The severity is improperly addressed, perhaps emphasize the risk of malware or viruses.
\item \textbf{How well does the close of the message tell the audience exactly what to do?}\\
Thanks the employee for following the policy, but doesn't reiterate the actions MIS wants them to take. Try summarizing the policy in seven words and adding that at the end.
\item \textbf{To what extent does the message effectively use you-attitude and positive emphasis?}\\
Positive emphasis is used sparingly in just a few sentences. I would talk about the work the employees do, and say how important it is. Also in paragraph 3, use "you" when talking about avoiding personal downloads. This creates an expectation of the employee, rather than an "oh, this policy is for someone else" mindset that may come up if referring to everyone.
\item \textbf{To what extent does the message use an appropriate tone/expression throughout?}\\
Legal issues are always really important for companies but less so for employees. This message does not focus on meaningless issues, but could focus a little more on how improper usage could impact the employee directly.
\item \textbf{How well does the message use correct grammar?}\\
Uses proper grammar throughout, professional layout, and readable type and diction.
\end{list}
\end{document}

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WRT350/Business_AB_peer_review.tex Normal file
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\documentclass[12pt]{scrartcl}
\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
\usepackage{tgpagella}
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\usepackage{ulem}
\usepackage{geometry}
\usepackage{scrlayer-scrpage}
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\setlength{\parindent}{0pt}
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\title{Business Message AB Peer Review}
\author{Isaac Greene}
\lohead{Business Message AB Peer Review}
\lofoot{For Seth Wolthuis\\By Isaac Greene}
\rofoot{2025-10-20}
\begin{document}
\part*{Business message peer review for Seth}
\section*{Positive message}
You did a great job with the positive message. You were very clear in quickly establishing the subject and even if they read nothing beyond the first paragraph, the recipient still knew when they could expect to use the fitness center. The entire message was very positive without being overly so. It matched the energy of a fun, new initiative.
The flow felt very natural, easily going from intro to what to why. You were specific, especially with what was going to be offered, with the variety of options available, and why an employee might want to use it. You emphasized the long hours of the new center, variety in equipment, and ease of access, like during lunch hours.
Because of the quality of your message, there were only a few minor changes I would make. In the second paragraph, I would change "employees" to "you" and reword "spouses, children ... fitness center." to "your immediate family." Similarly, in paragraph four, I would change "things" to "initiatives" which I feel emphasizes the company reasoning.
Overall, you did a really good job crafting an effective positive business message. There was strong you-attitude, an appropriate tone and formality level, and it builds goodwill in the ending.
\newpage
\section*{Negative message}
As stated above, I think you are a very natural and talented writer. It is again immediately clear what is changing and what will happen as a result. Given the severity, the potential misused company resources, the tone matches the subject matter well. It is respectful and serious without being rude or placing blame on anyone.
Each paragraph led nicely to the next one. You made it clear that the business wants to maintain a professional image, what actions brought about the email, what actions the business is going to take to preserve their image, and that company still supports creativity from its employees.
One area I felt was a little lacking was the information about what alternatives are available. An exhaustive list is certainly not needed, but something more specific than "[t]here are plenty of options". Perhaps mention specific platforms that do this, like Facebook, Blogger, or even Tumblr.
You did an excellent job making it clear what was happening, that there wasn't really anything wrong, just changing. You were friendly and detailed without being overwhelming or accusatory. Great quality.
\end{document}

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WRT350/F25LFe_MessageA_Greene_Isaac.tex
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\documentclass[12pt]{scrartcl}
\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
\usepackage{tgpagella}
\usepackage{xcolor}
\usepackage{ulem}
\usepackage{geometry}
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\definecolor{isaac-red}{HTML}{C52947}
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\title{F25LFe_MessageA_Greene_Isaac}
\author{Isaac Greene}
\lohead{F25LFe\_MessageA\_Greene\_Isaac}
\lofoot{No AI used. <ig7.us/ai>\\Work available under the Esoteric Common License. <ig7.us/license>}
\ohead*{\pagemark}
\begin{document}
From: Isaac Greene - HR Director <isaac@company.com>\\
To: Employee <you@company.com>\\
From: Isaac Greene - HR Director <isaac@proton.com>\\
To: Employee <you@proton.com>\\
Subject: \$3,500 tuition reimbursement now available!\\
Date: October 27, 2025\\
\hrule
Dear [name],
We love grabbing any chance we get to advance the education and livelihood of our employees. Which is why we are excited to announce that you are now eligible for up to \$3,500 in tuition reimbursement for approved courses. In order to receive this benefit, you must submit an application signed by your supervisor before the first class meeting.
We love grabbing any chance we get to advance the education and livelihood of our employees. Which is why we are excited to announce that you are now eligible for up to \$3,500 in tuition reimbursement for approved courses. In order to receive this benefit, please submit an application signed by your supervisor before the first class meeting.
If you've been thinking about going back to school with the goal of getting a new degree to help with a future promotion, this new program can help reduce the burden we know education brings. We intend for this program to promote a collaborative and diverse company culture, one where all team members are always learning and experimenting.
Pursuant to rules set out by the IRS and new company policy, tuition, up to \$3,500 per semester, is reimbursed only for approved courses that will help you in your current position or a potential future position here at [company]. Likewise, this new program is also available for a degree, at any level, that will help you now or in the future at [company]. You remain fully eligible for other types of aid, like Pell grants and scholarships, and this new program can help you offset any remaining costs.
Pursuant to rules set out by the IRS and new company policy, tuition, up to \$3,500 per semester, is reimbursed only for approved courses that will help you in your current position or a potential future position here at Proton. Likewise, this new program is also available for a degree, at any level, that will help you now or in the future at Proton. You remain fully eligible for other types of aid, like Pell grants and scholarships, and this new program can help you offset any remaining costs.
To be reimbursed, you must finish the course with a C grade or better, have an approved application, submit an official grade report to HR, and show a financial statement showing how much you paid. Please note that this new reimbursement program is for tuition only, books and other course materials are not included.
To be reimbursed, we are asking you to finish the course with a C grade or better, have an approved application, submit an official grade report to HR, and show a financial statement showing how much you paid. Please note that this new reimbursement program is for tuition only, books and other course materials are not included.
We hope you take advantage of this reimbursement program. We value your loyalty and hardwork, day in and day out. To learn more about this exciting opportunity, please email me at isaac@company.com.
We hope you take advantage of this reimbursement program. We value your loyalty and hardwork, day in and day out. To learn more about this exciting opportunity, please email me at isaac@proton.com.
Sincerely,\\
Isaac Greene\\
HR Director - [company]
HR Director - Proton
\end{document}

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WRT350/F25LFe_MessageB_Greene_Isaac.tex
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\documentclass[12pt]{scrartcl}
\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
\usepackage{tgpagella}
\usepackage{xcolor}
\usepackage{ulem}
\usepackage{geometry}
\usepackage[letterpaper]{geometry}
\usepackage{scrlayer-scrpage}
\geometry{letterpaper}
\definecolor{isaac-red}{HTML}{C52947}
\definecolor{isaac-blue}{HTML}{0E4385}
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\title{F25LFe_MessageA_Greene_Isaac}
\author{Isaac Greene}
\lohead{F25LFe\_MessageB\_Greene\_Isaac}
\lofoot{No AI used. <ig7.us/ai>\\Work available under the Esoteric Common License. <ig7.us/license>}
\ohead*{\pagemark}
\begin{document}
From: Isaac Greene - IT Director <isaac@company.com>\\
To: Employee <you@company.com>\\
Subject: Notice about personal pages on company.com\\
From: Isaac Greene - IT Director <isaac@proton.com>\\
To: Employee <you@proton.com>\\
Subject: Takedown notice of personal webpages on proton.com\\
Date: October 27, 2025\\
\hrule
Dear [name],
It is a great day seeing someone's pets being shared in a team. We love seeing the creativity that you bring to [company] and express new ideas. While we're all about fun and play, we unfortunately can't allow personal lives to be associated with the company online.
It is always great seeing someone's pets being shared in a team. We love seeing the creativity and innovative, fresh ideas that you bring to Proton. While we're all about fun and play, we unfortunately can't allow personal lives to be associated with the company online. Starting November 10, we will be removing all personal pages from our company website.
Our executive team feels that mixing personal and corporate messaging on the same platform could be perceived as a waste of resources and reduce the trust in [company] you have worked so hard to help create. Further, there is the potential for bad actors to post malicious content, so for everyone's safety, it has been decided that personal pages are not allowed.
While our executive team shares the same beliefs about personal expression, they feel that mixing personal and corporate messaging on the same platform could be perceived as a waste of resources and reduce the trust in Proton you have worked so hard to help create. For this reason, they have decided that personal pages will not allowed.
Pursuant to this new policy, effective immediately, we will be removing any personal pages that have been posted to our website and prohibiting any in the future. We truly appreciate that you care enough to share information about yourself, and feel comfortable doing so, and if you'd like to continue, we encourage you to look at tools like Wordpress and Wix that can help build your home on the web.
Pursuant to this new policy, effective immediately, we will be prohibiting publishing of personal pages and removing any personal pages that have been posted to our website in the coming weeks. We truly appreciate that you care enough to share information about yourself, and feel comfortable doing so, and if you'd like to continue, we encourage you to look at tools like Wordpress and Wix that can help build your home on the web.
We encourage you to share these meaningful updates with your friends and coworkers in situations where it appropriate, such as introductions and breaks, and we hope you can foster lasting friendships here.
We encourage you to share these meaningful updates with your friends and coworkers in situations where it's appropriate, such as introductions and breaks, and we hope you can foster lasting friendships here.
Sincerely,\\
Isaac Greene\\
IT Director - [company]
IT Director - Proton
\end{document}

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WRT350/F25LFe_MessageC_Greene_Isaac.tex Normal file
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\documentclass[12pt]{scrartcl}
\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
\usepackage{tgpagella}
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\lofoot{No AI used. <ig7.us/ai>\\Work available under the Esoteric Common License. <ig7.us/license>}
\ohead*{\pagemark}
\begin{document}
From: Isaac Greene <it@pixar.com>\\
To: Elizabeth Smith <esmith@pixar.com>\\
Subject: Updates to Pixar's Intranet Policy\\
Date: October 24, 2025\\
\hrule
Dear Elizabeth,
You may have noticed recently that the company Intranet has been feeling slower than normal. We understand that a working catalog of reference material is crucial to doing your work properly and efficiently. To help keep our systems working as hard as you, the IT team is implementing some new policies and efforts.
We at Pixar always want to encourage creativity and innovation in our films and shorts. To help you do that, we provide an enormous library of reference material we have collected in the decades of making inspirational films and shorts. Unfortunately, some of our monitoring systems have picked up on harmful computer software accidentally uploaded and copyrighted content that we don't have permission to use, like photos and songs.
Starting December 1, we will be using new tools that will help us flag and remove content that doesn't belong on our servers. We urge you to review submissions before you upload them to the company network to make sure they contain only Pixar work. Part of this new initiative is a three-strike policy. If wrongful content is detected more than three times, accounts will be flagged for more stringent review and there may be some additional training with our legal and HR teams.
If you have questions about this policy, please email me at it@pixar.com or reach out to our legal team at legal@pixar.com.
Thank you for your continued dedication to making meaningful work.
Sincerely,\\
Isaac Greene\\
Director of Management Information Systems\\
Pixar
\end{document}